· winning · 3 min read
Advice On How To Take Advice (Including Mine)
The best advice doesn't demand blind obedience. It's tool to help you adapt, innovate, and find your own way forward.

Originally written in 2010 by Khatzumoto. Further edited in 2021 by Unique Divine.
“Listen to all, plucking a feather from every passing goose, but follow no one absolutely.”
— Chinese Proverb
I read a lot of advice.
I watch it. I listen to it. Call it “self-help,” “life hacks,” or just “stuff people yell into microphones.” Whatever.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve noticed a common theme in advice-givers.
(And yes, I’m including myself here.)
It goes something like this:
“What you’ve been doing SUCKS. You’re messing up. Do it THIS way!”
And how does that make you feel?
Like a schmuck, right? Like a fool scrambling to fix everything about yourself.
So, you get busy. Dutifully trying to shove your square self into whatever new round hole your advice-giver has prepared.
Let me stop you right there.
I’m not here to tell you what to do. The world already has plenty of that.
Instead, let me tell you this:
I don’t think the point of advice is to make you feel like crap.
I don’t think the goal is to frantically rearrange your life to match someone else’s vision.
Certainly, that’s not my intention.
Good advice should make your life easier, not harder.
A Two-Step Process for Handling Advice
Here’s a simple method you might want to try:
- Read or listen to the advice. Mine, theirs, whoever’s.
- Then do whatever the heck you want with it.
Seriously. That’s it.
The Forest, Not the Trees
Good advice is often more about exposure than execution.
It’s about seeing the forest, not obsessing over the trees.
Sometimes, following advice to the letter is the easiest, least painful way forward.
Imitation is how we learn. If copying gets you where you need to go, then do it. No shame.
But here’s the thing:
You don’t have to fit yourself into the mold.
Take the mold and reshape it to fit you.
Don’t stress over minutiae. Minor deviations? Improvements? They’re normal. They’re desirable, even.
When a cookie recipe tells you to sprinkle two nanograms of rosemary while singing the national anthem, feel free to skip that step.
Focus on the flour, sugar, and butter. The core ingredients.
Everything else is optional.
Relax. Seriously.
Of course, if it’s easier to just follow the advice exactly, do that.
But chill. Relax. Don’t be a stressed-out zealot, frantically obeying every word as if your life depends on it. It doesn’t.
And don’t spiral into despair, either.
“Maybe it’s possible for others, but not for me” is the mantra of people who’ve already given up.
Don’t be that person. Don’t be the emo “it’s all B.S.” person, either.
Or…fine. Be that person. But be it quietly.
Protect Your Inner Child
Here’s the truth: Adults are just kids with bank accounts and bigger bodies.
Our minds are just as fragile.
We protect children from negativity, but what about ourselves?
Why do we let our inner critic run rampant?
Take a breath. Stop freaking out at yourself.
Stop breaking yourself down. Relax.
The point of advice isn’t to become someone else. It’s to take what works and leave the rest.
Take the feathers you need, and let the goose keep the rest.